Tuesday, March 06, 2007

hate my tory

For a very long time - in internet terms - there's been a website called Hot Or Not. People upload pictures of themselves (or people they know), and the (utterly bored but got the internet at work and on an hourly rate) viewer rates the sexual allure of the picture on a scale of 1 to 10. Each vote brings up a new picture. There are adverts on the screen which make the site's owners wealthy. Simple.

Then other ratings sites emerged. Running on the same principles but concerning itself less with your body than with what was recently expelled from it, there was Rate My Poo.

It quickly got sister sites, Rate My Boobies and Rate My Kitten.

Shit, tits and cats, I don't get the link. Except that perhaps most people would like to see endless pictures of at least one of them. Although I'm sure a small but select band would pay handsomely to see pictures involving all three and really, what else is the internet for?

Then came Rate My Boner and Rate My Finger. The latter features some quality bird-flipping, the former got taken down after threats from the US government. Not for anything to do with obscenity. That would've been a difficult and lengthy trial. No, on weird tax regulations about income from the ads.

Notably, they left tits and kittens and whatnot alone. Reminds me of the way the feds got Al Capone, mass murdering gangster thug, on tax evasion.

Anyway, the winning formula has been redeployed. Step on up and click on through to Hate My Tory.

Fuck me, have you seen John Corrie?

Got child skins drying in his attic for sure

And isn't that Steve Coogan with Sebastian Coe?

Knowing you Seb Coe, a-ha!

Jesus, we had Sebastian Coe and Gyles Brandreth as MPs in that runaway train of jackbooted lunacy know known (or, more accurately, dimly remembered when reminded) as The Major Years.

Anyway, the site's shaping up well, although it still needs a few pertinent facts on some of the Tories. Frankly, the fact of them being a Tory gives them all a 10-score for me.

And therein I find the one real problem. I mean, you've just given a 10-score to Iain Duncan-Smith (you remember him, slaphead, leader for a while... no not that one, another one), then up comes someone you hate even more, Zac Fuckin Goldsmith or Oliver 'Puppy Killer' Letwin or Michael 'Prison Works' Howard (you remember him, slaphead, leader for a while... no not that one, another one).

Where can you go from your previous 10-score? We need Nigel Tufnell as webmaster so it can go one harsher.

I shall, of course, be submitting Debi Jones shortly.

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