Friday, March 27, 2009

artistic balancing commando

We recently bade an eternal farewell to Lux Interior. Coming so soon after the deaths of John Martyn and Ron Asheton, I'm deeply alarmed. If the good artists die quicker than the bad ones, the proportion of bad ones increases.

So I propose the formation of an Artistic Balancing Commando splinter group of Shoot The Suit. Every time a Levi Stubbs or a George Melly dies, the ABC will take out a Mick Hucknall or a Stevie Nicks.

This will not only help to preserve balance, but in the long term the crap artists' insurance companies will find it worthwhile to stave off payouts by giving free high-quality healthcare to the good artists.



Unknown said...

I once trod on Mick Hucknalls hand at a gig in Liverpool Bluecoats - I was wearing Docs so I feel that - perhaps in a small way - I did my bit (have you ever seen him play guitar?!) Sadly I didnt tread on his throat!
I'm willing to stamp repeatedly on pop stars if required!

merrick said...

Good to know that, James. May need to hire you for the Chris De Burgh mission.

Unknown said...

I also narrowly missed running over Ulrika Johnnson and Hunter in York in the mid 90s' they were drunk and crossing Micklegate - she practically ended up on my bonnet (that's not a euphemism by the way!)
Consider De Burgh a dead man!
I'm sure there a book in the making somewhere
"Celebs I have injured or killed - the extreme stalker!"

Anonymous said...

I take exception - 'Stand Back' by Stevie Nicks is one of the 80's finest moments.

Climate Camp Kev

merrick said...

Climate Camp Kev,

Let us just, for one free flight-of-the-imagination moment, give you the benefit of the doubt here. Let us say, for the sake of argument, that 'Stand Free' is indeed any good.

That doesn't mean a fucking thing. With all that studio time, all the hired talent, and all you can show me is one tune? They all do one good tune. Elton John did 'Sacrifice', Sting did 'Fields of Gold', Phil Fucking Collins did 'Follow You Follow Me'.

Monkeys and typewriters, mate.