Monday, April 03, 2006

magical mystery tour

Fucking hell. Just got home and have a lot to write, but need to vent first.

Having had the misfortune to fall in love with someone from Oxford, I've found that by far the cheapest method of motorised travel from Leeds is the Megabus via London.

Leeds to London is perhaps the simplest long distance journey one can undertake in the UK. There is a single road between the two places with the simplest of names: M1.

Why is Megabus so much cheaper than anyone else? Why do their timetables give journey times half an hour longer than National Express when they go the same route with identical vehicles?

The two questions have one answer. Clearly Megabus scoop up the drivers National Express sacked and employ them at a fraction of the cost. They are so fucking incompetant that they cannot be trusted to drive on the one road that links the cities without going off on a fucking mystery tour that even Mad Barry the driver doesn't know the destination of, so they get half an hour of wander-time scheduled in.

Leeds to London, ooh that's a bit simple. Why not go via Birmingham and frigging Heathrow airport for no reason like my last Megabus?

London is due south, so how about making things a bit more challenging by heading off east out of Leeds before going north a while then turning round, like the time before?

Trivial to blog aboutI know, but then you didn't spend 20 minutes this evening on a spontaneous tour of Meadowhall's extensive car park complex. Looks big as you pass it on the M1. But not half as big as when you're flailing around without reason or end at the mercy of the fuckwit driver.

What was he? Just lost? Utterly deranged? In oblivious reverie cos that last worksful he banged up at Tibshelf was purer than he bargained for?

Fuck's sake.

Right, I'm off to put the kettle on and then come and write some proper stuff.


Anonymous said...

On a 250 mile journey in a coach, the major cost to the company is fuel. Fuel costs increase with speed, so if you set the speed limiters to 55 instead of 60 MPH, the journey takes longer but costs the company less.

Maybe that's why.

merrick said...

Hmm, it would make sense were it not for two facts:

1) megabus coaches that stick to the sensible M1 all the way route arrive 20-30 minutes ahead of schedule.

2) Those that arrive on schedule are the ones that have taken the novel routes, using more fuel than if they'd taken the direct route.

So I hold with the theory that it's people on a pound an hour unable to find employment anywhere else.