Saturday, December 18, 2004


Nobody's ever felt at ease with The Krankies. The fact that this married couple choose to dress up the woman as a prepubescent boy unfailingly gives the shudders to anyone who's ever heard of them.

You can't see a picture of them, such as the cover for their latest album Jimmy's Golden Shower, sorry Golden Mile, without imagining them engaged in sexual congress. In fact, they may actually be doing it in the picture.

This week Wee Jimmy Krankie pulled out of a Glasgow production of Jack & The Beanstalk after being hurt falling from the beanstalk.

This isn't the thing that bothered me. The really creepy thing is the report's casual mention of Krankie's age.


This means that, to keep the maths simple, 20 years ago in 1984 at the height of Krankie saturation of British television she was already 37.

What the fuck had she been doing for the previous 20 years of her adult life? Had she always been an unsettling paedotranny?

Or did it only occur to her once she hit middle age, in some mid-life craving for eternal youth?

If so, is it not the sort of thing that should have been a matter for the relevant authorities or at least a self-help group, rather than poisoning the emotional life of a generation via Crackerjack?


Anonymous said...

Ah, the Krankies - shudder - not one of my nations finer exports, it has to be said.


merrick said...

But as the nation that also gave the world Billy MacKenzie, Strawberry Switchblade, Islay malt whisky, The Jesus & Mary Chain, Sean Connery ('you call this archaeology?'), the Calanais standing stones and Irvine Welsh I think we can forgive The Krankies and even Hue & Cry.

Anonymous said...

i loved the krankies as a kid!!! they were really funny :-)


Jesus H. Christ man, get a life! The Krankies are a comedy duo, they aren't there to be nitpicked and analysed. The fact that anyone tries looking at some sick fantasies behind what is essentially camp cabaret at it's funniest is creepy in itself.
I love the Krankies, at least they make people laugh unlike some of the other Scottish acts out there like the Jesus & Mary Chain.

merrick said...

fatpizzaman, anything that is contrived, considered, refined, rehearsed and then presented to us has already been analysed by those who purvey it. It seems peculiar that we should accept it all without considering why it's there and what impacts it may be having other than the superficial.

Firstly, our mass media are saturated with, as Bill Hicks put it, fevered egos tainting our collective unconscious and making us pay a higher psychic price than we realise.

Secondly, if you think this post was written entirely seriously then I suspect that comedy on the level of the Krankies may be about all you can handle.

I also find it interesting that, some three years after this post was published, you come on to talk. Googling for a little paedotranny action but ashamed to admit it?