Friday, November 13, 2009

mootopia is nigh

Bovine terrorism continues. As I mentioned at the time, in June David Blunkett was nearly killed by a cow. The cow chose to do it on his birthday for extra symbolic and media value.

This week, Question Time chairperson David Dimbleby missed the programme for the first time ever after being attacked by a bullock, possibly in retribution for having Nick Griffin on his show.

According to the Health and Safety Executive figures cited in a report about the Blunkett attack, cattle kill about four people a year and injure a further 75. This is far more than any other terrorist group in the UK. Furthermore, they've proven they are better at targeted attacks on prominent political figures than any other terrorists.

I reckon this is just the warm-up, there'll be a mass stampede on parliament just before the Christmas recess, ushering in a great cow revolution and new year mootopia.


Phil said...

You've just got a grudge against cows, haven't you, just because they stuck that tuberculosis rap on you :-p

merrick said...

Quite the opposite, Phil. Badgers and cows both know it's intensive farming practices that have exacerbated the TB thing, and neither party wishes to see intensive farming or badger culls. It's strictly a farmer thing.

Badgers would proudly take the place of the chickens in choppers seen in the Cows With Guns video.

Indeed, I'm such a bovophile that I've started listing moo-vies in oder to prove my usually derided assertion that cows appear in a third of movies.