Tuesday, July 10, 2007

de burgh's takeover looms

Remember how I warned you that evil lizard alien Chris de Burgh was wangling governmental posts? His insidious campaign continues.

The rearrangement of government in the UK has created the new Department of Business, Enterprise and Regulatory Reform, DBERR.

'Reform', one of those golden words of globalisation like 'modernise'. Because 'giving it away to the rich' and 'privatise' sound a little too controversial.

We can guess which way 'regulatory reform' will go. Expect to hear a lot about 'cutting red tape for business'. Who in their right mind wants more red tape? Yet who in their right mind thinks 'red tape' is a reasonable term for regulation that includes things like health and safety legislation and a whole slew of laws preventing employers and corporations from poisoning, maiming and exploiting us?

But anyway, it's not the function of the new department we're concerned with, it's the name, DBERR. Not snappy like DTI nor easily pronouncable like DEFRA is it?

The Daily Telegraph reports that it is being referred to in Whitehall as 'Chris', as in 'Chris DeBerr'.

Worse, the Telegraph advocate that it officially be called Chris, as the people who gave it the name have been indulging in a little acronymous computer hacking.

John Hutton should stamp his mark on the department by officially adopting the name. Aside from the ugliness of the DBERR acronym, it apparently also means database error in geek language and – according to a petition on No10’s website – is already wreaking havoc with computer systems nationwide.

If we can’t have the manageable DTI back, surely Hutton must embrace 'Chris' as a step forward?

A national newspaper, encouraging us to go the whole hog and embrace the Lizard Overlord! Not as anything so accountable as a minister, nor as something so ephemeral as an absolute monarch, but a permanent department of government itself.

These, surely, are our final days of liberty.


zoe said...


so dberr is set up.
bliss is heading londonways.

i fear for our futures and await a bloody sunrise in the coming last days.

Anonymous said...

the car’s on fire and there’s no driver at the wheel
and the sewers are all muddied with a thousand lonely suicides
and a dark wind blows

the government is corrupt
and we’re on so many drugs
with the radio on and the curtains drawn

we’re trapped in the belly of this horrible machine
and the machine is bleeding to death

the sun has fallen down
and the billboards are all leering
and the flags are all dead at the top of their poles

it went like this:

the buildings tumbled in on themselves
mothers clutching babies picked through the rubble
and pulled out their hair

the skyline was beautiful on fire
all twisted metal stretching upwards
everything washed in a thin orange haze

i said: “kiss me, you’re beautiful -
these are truly the last days”

you grabbed my hand and we fell into it
like a daydream or a fever

we woke up one morning and fell a little further down -
for sure it’s the valley of death

i open up my wallet
and it’s full of blood

Godspeedyou! blackemperor.....