The rearrangement of government in the UK has created the new Department of Business, Enterprise and Regulatory Reform, DBERR.
'Reform', one of those golden words of globalisation like 'modernise'. Because 'giving it away to the rich' and 'privatise' sound a little too controversial.
We can guess which way 'regulatory reform' will go. Expect to hear a lot about 'cutting red tape for business'. Who in their right mind wants more red tape? Yet who in their right mind thinks 'red tape' is a reasonable term for regulation that includes things like health and safety legislation and a whole slew of laws preventing employers and corporations from poisoning, maiming and exploiting us?
But anyway, it's not the function of the new department we're concerned with, it's the name, DBERR. Not snappy like DTI nor easily pronouncable like DEFRA is it?
The Daily Telegraph reports that it is being referred to in Whitehall as 'Chris', as in 'Chris DeBerr'.
Worse, the Telegraph advocate that it officially be called Chris, as the people who gave it the name have been indulging in a little acronymous computer hacking.
John Hutton should stamp his mark on the department by officially adopting the name. Aside from the ugliness of the DBERR acronym, it apparently also means database error in geek language and – according to a petition on No10’s website – is already wreaking havoc with computer systems nationwide.
If we can’t have the manageable DTI back, surely Hutton must embrace 'Chris' as a step forward?
A national newspaper, encouraging us to go the whole hog and embrace the Lizard Overlord! Not as anything so accountable as a minister, nor as something so ephemeral as an absolute monarch, but a permanent department of government itself.
These, surely, are our final days of liberty.