he told them not to spoil it

Jesus, just when I thought the weirdest thing to discover about the Krankies was Wee Jimmy's age - fifty seven I tell you, fifty fuckin seven - I've been given a link to something far beyond that.

No, I'm not talking about the distressing page from their tour programme where Wee Jimmy is dressed up in a Madonna-style blonde wig and pointy-titted corset.

I'm talking about the most unholy alliance yet conceived by the human mind, the kind of thing that is surely specified in the Book of Revelations as a sign of the imminency of The End of Times.

I'm talking about a True Abomination.

I'm talking about The Krankies singing Bowie.

Rob Manuel's musical blog archives the Krankies doing a cover of Bowie's Starman, shown as the end credits for light entertainment no-mark Shane Ritchie's appearance on Room 101 the other week.

Turn your speakers on, check it out and be appalled.

Weirdly, they've altered the lyrics a bit too. They can say 'blow our minds', yet feel they have to censor the blow two lines later. In the hands of the Krankies, 'he's told us not to blow it' becomes 'he's told us not to spoil it'.

You what?

Bowie trivia fiends may like to know it's not the first time this has happened to Bowie's early 70s output. He made demos of dozens of songs around 1971, and pop svengali Mickie Most heard Oh! You Pretty Things and though it'd be the ideal vehicle for launching the solo career of Peter Noone, the Austin Powers-alike lead singer of Herman's Hermits. Noone's version - featuring Bowie himself on piano - was released in May 1971, six months ahead of Bowie's own.

However, whilst Noone's management apparently had no trouble with their chirpy cheeky chappie singing a lyric primarily about the sudden onset of a schizophrenic episode, they balked at one line, 'the earth is a bitch', and changed it to the apparently more acceptable 'the earth is a beast'.

If you thought Lulu's talent was too lightweight to tackle The Man Who Sold The World, I tell you it's as nothing compared to the permagrinned I-have-no-idea-what-I'm-singing-about voicing Noone gives Oh! You Pretty Things.

To save you parting with any dosh for such twaddle, I've MP3'd my copy of the single, and it's the new addition to my little MP3 page.