Wednesday, March 29, 2006

lizard alien

As regular Badgerers will know, Chris De Burgh is the minion of a race of alien shapeshifting lizards who work to take over planet earth.

De Burgh mocks us with his lyrics such as Don't Pay The Ferryman (about not trusting those in powerful positions) and A Spaceman Came Travelling (about an alien come to take over the world). He tries to weaken us into a state of advanced nausea with The Lady In Red.

He tries to deflect our opprobrium by being nice to some lovely donkeys.

But it won't wash, De Burgh! Despite Jim Bliss falling for it and buying all your albums on all formats, the rest of us are smarter than you realise! When you use your fortune to amass alien technologies, we know it is a blatant admission of your lizardly ways!

Thus I was not fooled into any other conclusion when I saw the headline - I shit you not - Chris de Burgh buys Alien 'icon'


Anonymous said...

Merrick, we have long established that your so-called self-styled "dislike" of Chris de Burgh is actually a cover for your dark and seething hatred of donkeys. You see a man trying to help out a few of our most unfortunate and downtrodden animals, and you immediately leap on the offensive, insisting that he's "evil" in some way.

The man has released a lot of truly awful pap. Far more than he should have, no question. But the first couple of albums have some nice tunes on them. Which is more than you can say for Huey Lewis.

merrick said...

Jim, my clear and overt love of donkeys is well documented. That you could clutch at so pathetic a straw shows your position's laughable lack of substance, thereby leading the reasonable reader to wonder what it is that you really want to defend De Burgh for.

'First couple of albums have nice tunes on', yeah yeah, and Hitler was a reasonably competant landscape painter too.

Let's not mention your record collection containing the 12 inch of Tender Hands, shall we, Jim?

Anonymous said...

Now now, Merrick. Playful banter is one thing... y'know, accusing people of cruelty to animals and comparing singer/songwriters to Adolf Hitler, that sort of thing? But the claim that I own anything of de Burgh's post-1980 is way below the belt. It's just foul.

OK, so I do have that live album from the 90s... but he does all the 70s stuff on it. And accusations of owning singles from the mid-80's sicken me, and I demand you take it back. Yes, yes the live album does have Lady In Red on it... but that's what programmable CD players were invented for.

And quite frankly, Merrick, your record collection contains just as many howlers as mine. Claims of "oh, but it's ironic" or "It's just for the radio show" don't make ownership of mini-pops albums any more respectable you know?

merrick said...

Jim, you have just openly conceded that you own a live version of Lady In Red.

Simultaneously, you forfeited any right to any valid opinion on anything to do with morality, taste, decency or anything.

'I don't have any post 1980 De burgh, except for my post-1980 De Burgh stuff'?

Right, sure, I see what you mean there.

As for Minipops, I don't think you can read anything into me buying their album and I'm Too Sexy at the same time. (It was only after leaving Aberdare Barnado's i realised what a composite picture it made and was looking over my shoulder for the cops for the rest of the afternoon).

It's not as if I later trawled online record shops paying top dollar for further Minipops albums having lost auctions for them on Ebay.

Oh, er, hang on a minute....