Monday, January 30, 2006


Over on his blog, the redoubtable Jim Bliss has done a blog meme that's going round called 7x7. Seven questions to the blogger that want seven things listed in response.

The last one is who you want to do it next, and he's tagged me. So here it is.

There's two questions that I thought would make it more interesting - 'things I've done only once' and a music one (books and movies but no music?) - so I added them. Then realised that'd make it 9x7. In order to preserve the neatness of the title I gave nine things for each answer, and so it's 9x9 that I expect my list of tagees to answer.

Nine Things To Do Before I Die

Hmm, if I have plans then I tend to be setting them in motion, so it doesn't leave a lot of room for long-term aching desires. Still, let's have a go.

I do agree with Jim Bliss' 'meet David Bowie', but it seems too easy to copy his, even if they're mine too.

1. Dance on Margaret Thatcher's grave.
2. Write more political work - more important, more compelling, more convincing, and more by sheer volume.
3. Be in a band that really means something but is still loads of fun. Yeah, I know.
4. Play a major role in the eradication of all extant copies of the recorded works of Chris De Burgh.
5. Dance again out of pleasure rather than to prove a point to myself or because I've overdone my intake. Having my thighbone held together by an assortment of metalwork is an impediment on that front, but Thatcher karking it might be just the incentive I need.
6. Go and make it happen.
7. Take the world in a love embrace.
8. Fire all of my guns at once.
9. Explode into space.

Nine Things I Cannot Do

1. Get by in any language other than English. Oh the joys of an imperialist education system.
2. Abide David Sylvian. I once had a terribly convincing article published entitled 'Why Japan Are The Worst Band Ever'.
3. Put both my legs behind my head at the same time. Any more.
4. Drive a motor vehicle. Well, I drove a Citroen BX estate home one time, but it was an automatic at 4am with no other cars around, so it doesn't really count does it.
5. Roll the letter R. This has been an admittedly small factor in my Welsh vocabulary remaining static at about 50 words.
6. Remember all the words to All You Need Is Love. It was written to be broadcast on the world's first satellite TV link-up, so in order to be understood around the globe it was deliberately made memorable and simple. Yet I bet you can't remember them all either. And how many times have we heard it? Weird.
7. Draw.
8. Keep up with Jim Bliss' bong intake. We tried once. My daily maximum was about a tenth of his.
9. Be concise much. As if 7x7 didn't offer enough answers already.

Nine Things That Attract Me To A Person I Find Attractive

1. Sparkle.
2. Warmth.
3. Compassion.
4. Drive.
5. Playfulness.
6. Up for it ness.
7. Ability to sense significance in small things, and to make big significant things seem straighforward, simple and easy. Feels like there should be a one-word way to say it. 'Thoughtfulness' comes close.
8. The sense that I'm going to learn a lot from them.
9. A love of gratuitous weirdnesses.

Nine Things I Say

1. Fuck (and assorted cognates thereof, including a particular favourite in 'fucksight', meaning 'large quantity')
2. That's the badger
3. Your first allegiance must be to truth
4. It's like at Newbury when...
5. Yer ma's arse
6. Everyone have what they want and I'll have all the rest
7. Mornings are wonderful, just not at the start of your day
8. You can't beat a good otter
9. Put these on and call me your bitch

Nine Things I've Only Done Once And Don't Expect To Do Again

1. Snorted chilli sauce
2. Bought methadone
3. Had a notably muscular man try his best to shove a pineapple up my arse. There is photographic evidence of the event. Which has been made into a jigsaw.
4. Been shut in a room with just me and a millionaire
5. Been to Norway
6. A bloke tied out to a 6 foot pentagram
7. Stayed awake for four days
8. Not shat for a week
9. Met Patti Smith

You have to guess which, if any, of the above events were interrelated. Anyone who comes up with a one-week scenario involving all nine wins a prize.

Nine Songs I Don't Think I Could Live Without

1. High Hills Lament - Seize The Day. Although the recorded version is awful (cheesy keyboard and off-key harmonies), but the song itself is the most powerful I know. More likely to make me cry than any other.
2. Ace of Spades - Motorhead
3. Natural High - Bloodstone. The loveliest thing ever recorded, like a warm bath of chocolate duvets.
4. Northern Sky - Nick Drake
5. Do I Love You (Indeed I Do) - Frank Wilson. The ultimate soaring Motown stomper.
6. Waterloo Sunset - The Kinks. It's all about the backing vocals with the Kinks, you know.
7. The Way You Look Tonight - Peggy Lee
8. Headstart For Happiness - The Style Council (the free-flying early B-side version, not the clumsy album version with Dee's awful vocal)
9. Electric - The Church. They've done loads better and loads I prefer but, unique among their repertoire, there are times when only this song will do.

Nine Good Books

1. The Modern Antiquarian - Julian Cope
2. Collected Essays, Letters & Journalism - George Orwell
3. Suzy, Led Zeppelin & Me - Martin Millar
4. If Nobody Speaks of Remarkable Things - Jon McGregor
5. What A Carve Up! - Jonathon Coe
6. Breakfast of Champions - Kurt Vonnegut
7. So Shall We Reap - Colin Tudge
8. Complicity - Iain Banks
9. Love - Mahalia

Nine Good Movies

1. Cinema Paradiso (Director's Cut)
2. Casablanca
3. Withnail & I
4. Once Were Warriors
5. Amelie
6. Stardust Memories
7. The Last Temptation of Christ
8. Apocalypse Now
9. Head

Nine Blogs To Tag

1. Goldfish Nation
2. Kerosene Oyster Hell
3. Pandemian (formerly Green Fairy)
4. Uncarved
5. Dreamflesh (that one so interesting and intelligent blogs so rarely is truly a loss to us all)
6. James Davies
7. Rhythmicginger!
8. Cookie Loves Cake (she'll be embarrassed that her travel journal gets shoved above the parapet like this, but I'm too intrigued not to nominate her)
9. Boris Johnson. Nine things to do before he dies? Have just enough time to count quickly to nine right now, hopefully. Twat.


zoe said...

oh god.
i just got mixed up and answered jim's first and now it's all too much...

you're twistin me melon. man.


Anonymous said...

Where's Strawberry Switchblade in yer music list then?

merrick said...

Despite ending up as Keeper of The Flame and Chief Custodian of the Strawberry Switchblade legacy, they are - by quite some distance -not my favourite band ever.

They were the best undocumented band I knew of, hence the website.

Gael said...

I'll join you for a spot of grave dancing.

cookie said...

Indeed I am embarassed! I also get the whole idea of blogging totally wrong by posting feck all for months then deluging.. but I do keep ending up in the remotest places..

Janie said...

Had a notably muscular man try his best to shove a pineapple up my arse. There is photographic evidence of the event. Which has been made into a jigsaw.It was also made into a fetching kitchen apron too by Truprint.

merrick said...

Janie, i always regretted that the 'set of six coasters' option wasn't taken up.

Anonymous said...

I have just discovered your blog and I like it! Won't be much room to throw some shapes on the bitches grave though, form a queue please!